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Let's break down this incredibly stupid Trump campaign email that's almost impossible to fathom: analysis

President Donald J. Trump speaks with reporters Thursday, Sept. 10, 2020, at Joint Base Andrews, Md., prior to boarding Air Force One for his trip to Michigan. (Official White House Photo by Tia Dufour)

Let’s take a look at a Trump-Pence campaign fundraising email, because we could all use a laugh.


Friend,

For MONTHS the Fake News polls have shown Sleepy Joe ahead of your President in key battleground states.

The lying media doesn’t want to upset their Democrat Partners, so in a recent poll, they’re still reporting I’m down a few points. Ridiculous. They’re trying to TRICK the American People into thinking I have no chance of winning, but WE know that couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s going to be an uphill battle to win these critical states, and I am counting on YOU to step up and help ensure a MASSIVE VICTORY. I need you to contribute to the Official Battleground State Fund [...]

Please contribute ANY AMOUNT TODAY to the Official Battleground State Fund and your gift will be 600%-matched.

Let’s break this down, why don’t we?

For MONTHS the Fake News polls have shown Sleepy Joe ahead of your President in key battleground states.

It’s not a Trump communication if it doesn’t have weird capitalization. But Trump really does seem to have settled with “Sleepy Joe” even though he knows that it’s not a very effective pejorative. It’s kinda hard to get riled up into a froth against someone who is “sleepy.”

Surprised he didn’t go with “your favorite president.”

The lying media doesn’t want to upset their Democrat Partners, so in a recent poll, they’re still reporting I’m down a few points. Ridiculous. They’re trying to TRICK the American People into thinking I have no chance of winning, but WE know that couldn’t be further from the truth.

The media is lying, but they are afraid of their “Democrat Partners” (speaking of weird capitalizations). The polls are fake, the media is lying, and they are trying to TRICK Trump’s supporters into thinking that Trump is losing. And that’s a lie!

Got it? To reiterate: Polls and media are lying about polls showing Trump losing.

It’s going to be an uphill battle to win these critical states,

Wait WHAT? It’s now an uphill battle to win?

Here’s the logic:

1. Media lies

2. Polls showing Trump losing is lying

3. Trump losing “couldn’t be further from the truth”

4. It’s downright “ridiculous,” the notion that we’re losing!

5. Oh yeah, we’re losing. And we’re losing so bad, it’s an uphill battle to win.

and I am counting on YOU to step up and help ensure a MASSIVE VICTORY. I need you to contribute to the Official Battleground State Fund [...]

Please contribute ANY AMOUNT TODAY to the Official Battleground State Fund and your gift will be 600%-matched.

It’s an uphill battle to win, but if you donate, you can ensure a MASSIVE VICTORY UNDERLINED ALL CAPS, and it will even be 600% matched! By, uh, who? By no one. That’s a stupid lie, trying to trick people into thinking they are having more impact. But that’s not the worst lie in the email ...

The email includes a fake poll. Not kidding.

Once again distilling this email, because it’s so mind blowing, it effectively says: “The lying fake media reported on a lying fake poll in order to demoralize Trump’s supporters, and the results couldn’t be further from the truth, they’re downright ridiculous, but okay it’s true, because winning battleground states is an uphill fight, and here’s that lying poll that the media is lying about to demoralize you, but who needs the media when we can show it to you instead?”

And yes, that poll doesn’t exist!

I looked everywhere. National, state, battleground or otherwise. That poll doesn’t exist. The decimal point is a tell; No credible pollster uses decimal points in their results, as it suggests a level of precision that is simply impossible in statistical sampling. As such, it made it easy to google for these results. They don’t exist.

So an email predicated on criticizing a fake media poll literally uses a fake poll to make its point!

If that’s not the most Trumpian thing ever, it’s close. The only thing missing is a felony.

Trump campaign email

Trump campaign email

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