Don't Want Politicians to Show Their Penises To Staff? This Candidate Says Vote for Someone Who Doesn't Have One

Men are suffering from an epidemic of indecent exposure. From entertainment to media to politics, high-powered men are harboring a desire to imitate the neighborhood flasher our parents warned us about. In politics, there has been much handwringing over the proper response, how to conduct an investigation, whether the accused should be fired or resign, and whether an apology is sufficient. Until we can get to the bottom of this penis-flashing epidemic, Dana Nessel, candidate for attorney general of Michigan, has a novel proposition: vote for a candidate who doesn't have a penis.

That's what she's promising to potential constituents in a new campaign ad released Thursday. Sitting in front of a cozy-looking fireplace, Nessel explains that if the avalanche of accusations has taught Americans anything over the last few weeks, it's that "we need more women in power, not less." As headlines featuring Roy Moore, Charlie Rose and Donald Trump flash across the screen, she asks Michigan voters for a simple favor: "when you’re choosing Michigan’s next attorney general, ask yourself this: 'Who can you trust most not to show you their penis in a professional setting?' Is it the candidate who doesn’t have a penis? I’d say so.”

She pledges that, if elected, “I will not sexually harass my staff and I won’t tolerate it in your workplace either. Won’t walk around in a half-open bathrobe, and I’ll continue to take all sex crimes seriously, just like I did as a prosecutor.”

Prior to running for attorney general, Nessel was best known as the lawyer responsible for Michigan striking down its same-sex marriage ban, the year before the Supreme Court allowed same-sex marriage for the entire country. 

In addition to addressing the current wave of sexual harassment allegations, the ad, as the Huffington Post notes, is a subtle dig at pundits who question the wisdom of an all-female ticket for Michigan in 2018, as with Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) up for re-election, Michigan Dems could have female nominees for the offices of senator, governor, attorney general and secretary of state. Michigan has only had one other female attorney general, Jennifer Granholm, also a Democrat. 

Watch the ad below. 

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