Stephen Colbert Scalds Senate Republicans for Their Secret Health Care Negotiations
"Late Show" host Stephen Colbert celebrated the first day of summer Wednesday by shaming a desperate GOP itching to repeal the Affordable Care Act within the next two weeks.
Senate Republicans have "given themselves a July fourth deadline for their bill to gut Obamacare," he began. "So if you're going to blow your fingers off with fireworks, do it on the third."
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is attempting to ram a health care bill through Congress after accusing President Obama of doing the same.
"[He's] rushing to put the bill together in what's being described as a 'frantic scramble,' which is the best way to make all your health care decisions," Colbert deadpanned.
The "Late Show" host also took aim at the minimal effort needed to get Republican moderates on board with the bill.
"They don't like the idea of phasing out extra federal funding for Medicaid in 2020, which is the plan right now, so to lure them in, McConnell is proposing doing it in 2023," he explained.
"I'm sorry, Mitch, I cannot in good conscience vote to take away life-saving health care from low-income people," Colbert play-acted. "What's that? Three years later? I'm in!"
And despite a brief summary released by McConnell on Wednesday, "we don't know too much about what will be in the final bill, because all of the negotiations so far have taken place behind closed doors."
"They even put a sock on the doorknob," Colbert quipped. "So no one barges in while they're screwing poor people."