Conan O'Brien Reveals Neil Gorsuch Is in for a Punishing Supreme Court Hazing Ritual

Alexandra Rosenmann
,
 AlterNet
and
 Alexandra Rosenmann
April 13, 2017

Now that Neil Gorsuch has been sworn in to the Supreme Court, you may be wondering what happens next. Conan O'Brien has a few ideas.

"As the newest justice on the Supreme Court, Gorsuch will be forced to perform low-level jobs, such as heading up the cafeteria committee and opening doors for the other judges," announced Conan O'Brien on Wednesday.

"That's true," he continued as the audience roared. "That's a real thing." 

Justice Elena Kagan will happily relinquish such duties. 

"If there is a knock on the door, and I don't hear it—there will not be a single other person who will move, they will just all stare at me until I figure out, oh, I guess somebody knocked on the door," Kagan explained in 2014, four years into the job.

"Knock, knock, Justice X forgot his glasses... knock knock, Justice Y forgot her coffee... So there I am popping up and down."

It's all part of a long-standing tradition. 

"You become a Supreme Court justice, highest post in the land, and you have to go through a hazing," mused O'Brien.

He offered a sneek peek at some of the other degrading things Gorsuch might have to endure, from picking up other justices' dry-cleaning to walking Justice Roberts' dogs, to a literal beating with gavels. 

Watch:

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