Stephen Colbert Totally Dismantles the Trump Administration's In-House Conspiracy Theories

Conspiracy theorists Alex Jones and Roger Stone have hatched yet another explanation for the Trump's administration's chaos. But the "Deep State," as explained by Colbert, was inevitable.

“You know who has a bad case of the Mondays this Tuesday?” Stephen Colbert opened Tuesday night. “The Trump administration, because apparently paranoia has seized the Trump White House."

"I’m surprised," the "Late Show" host quipped. "I thought Russia was going to seize it.”

White House officials' Deep State concerns are deeply troubling. For example, staffers' paranoia has caused them to "stay mum" in meetings, for fear that their comments "could be leaked to the press by foes," Politico reported

Initially Colbert thought the Deep State was “what you achieve after doing three bong hits and watching Planet Earth."

"In fact, it’s a permanent national security apparatus that is pulling the strings behind the scenes," he explained. 

In the Deep State exposé, Politico revealed the drastic measures some White House officials have taken, such as one staffer who hides his devices the moment he gets home, for fear someone could be listening in. 

“Even if there’s a vast government conspiracy out to get you, they’re never going to bug two phones," Colbert pointed out to the fool.

“I think this paranoia is just the frustration every new administration has with Washington, D.C.,” the host concluded. “You went to work for Trump because you wanted to tear down the government. Now you have to deal with it. Now you are the government.”

"It's like a dog who spent his whole life chasing a car. Now he has to drive the car," he said. “We’re not happy about it either, by the way. Remember, we’re in the backseat of a car being driven by a dog now.”


Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card


Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.