Colbert Eviscerates House GOP: 'When Donald Trump Calls You Unethical, That's a Wakeup Call'
"Late Show" host Stephen Colbert opened his first show of 2017 by reflecting on his own New Year's resolutions, and those of Republicans in Congress.
"My resolution was to have Oprah Winfrey on the show," Colbert announced before praising his guest for bringing such a positive energy to the show.
"You know who else is back at work this week is the Congress," he continued. "Today is their first official day of work, but Republicans thought they'd come in yesterday, just to get a jump on it."
The House GOP has big plans for the new era of "unified government" while controlling the House and Senate under a president of their own party.
"Defeat ISIS, cut taxes, fix our trade deals with China," Colbert rattled off. "So naturally, the first thing they did yesterday was eviscerate the Office of Congressional Ethics."
The controversial move to gut the office was heavily criticized by members of their own party, including Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), who called it the "dumbest fricking thing." Representative Mike Simpson (R-ID) also admitted the snafu was a shot in the foot.
"Yeah, they gutted it in a secret vote, which seems, what's the word? Unethical. If only there was some office in Congress that could investigate that," Colbert mused before offering some much-needed comparisons.
"Republicans thought it would be better for Congress to investigate itself... That's like if the kids got together and said, Listen, Shana, you've been a great babysitter, but we took a secret vote to send you home. Leave the cigarettes. Bye-bye."
The controversial move couldn't be further from Trump's promise to "drain the swamp" and increase transparency in Washington. On Tuesday, the president-elect criticized the plan (or more likely, its timing), causing the House Republicans to immediately pull it.
"Man!" Colbert exclaimed. "When Donald Trump calls you out for being unethical, that's a wakeup call. That's not good. That's like if Keith Richards told you to moisturize."