FBI Needs to Investigate Why the FBI Is Suddenly So Leaky

Either there are a lot of credulous news organizations willing to believe any whispery voice on the phone is an FBI agent, or it’s little wonder the FBI can’t complete its investigations—all the agents are too busy serving as “unnamed sources at the FBI.”


Wednesday night, the unnamed source squad dropped in on Fox News to deliver a staggering bombshell.

The Clinton Foundation investigation is far more expansive than anybody has reported so far and has been going on for more than a year. 

No, wait. It’s bombshells.

Agents have found emails believed to have originated on Hillary Clinton's secret server on Anthony Weiner's laptop. They say the emails are not duplicates and could potentially be classified in nature. 

No, dammit. It’s a whole squadron of B-52s!

Sources within the FBI have told him that an indictment is "likely" in the case of pay-for-play at the Clinton Foundation, "barring some obstruction in some way" from the Justice Department.   

Oh, unnamed sources! First you let us know that not only is there completely nothing going on between Russia and Trump, but that the whole deal with the Russians stealing just Democratic emails and doling them out right before critical moments in the election is just a big, happy coincidence.

And now, we know that the rigged jig is truly up. But … wait! What is this? It seems there’s even more...

The unnamed sources also have a time machine. How else to explain how they were ready to indict in January, and again in April.

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