Colbert Has a Special Request for Trump on Behalf of 8 Million People

As President Obama embarks on his "give Trump a chance" tour, hoping to reassure the world Trump won't destroy it, the president-elect is making some unconventional plans of his own. 


"Obama is in Greece right now, and I really think Europe is going to miss Obama. And if Trump pulls out of NATO, Europe is really going to miss Europe," "Late Show" host Stephen Colbert announced after explaining he would have more confidence in Obama's pseudo-endorsement of the president-elect if he didn't look so terribly uncomfortable when Trump paid a visit to the Oval office on November 10.

But, according to Obama's aides, "instead of living in the White House, Trump would like to do what he is used to, which is spending time in New York, so he can wake up in his own bed in Trump Tower," Colbert said.

While America should be used to Trump's unconventional policies by now, "this is the first president who considers living in the White House 'slumming it,'" Colbert pointed out: "132 rooms, 55,000 square feet, I'll pass," Colbert scoffed.

"Does President-elect Trump not understand the number-one job requirement?" Colbert wanted to know. "It's right there in the Constitution: 'Must be willing to relocate.'"

Cobert then issued a small request for Trump.  

"Look, Don," he began, turning to the camera. "This is personal. On behalf of eight million people, please don't come back every week to New York; I am begging you."

The audience roared in agreement. 

"Please!" Colbert continued. "The one week a year when Obama comes in for the U.N., it's like the fall of Saigon meets Dante's Inferno meets World War Z around here. And now, the Secret Service says that they're going to close parts of Fifth Avenue. Traffic's going to be so backed up, people in their cars will start drinking their own urine to survive. Whole generations of New Yorkers will be born and die without ever leaving their Uber."

And does Trump even remember how much New York hates him?

"Eighty-six percent of Manhattan voted against you, your front door is blocked by 10,000 people screaming at you and plus, I've been there [to the White House]," Colbert recalled. "It's very nice! It has 35 bathrooms! You could sit on the same toilet Lincoln tweeted the Gettysburg Address from."

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