John Oliver Totally Destroys 'P*ssy-Grabbing Warthog' Donald Trump
On Sunday, October 9, the New York Times reported that NBC would be suspending "Today" show host Billy Bush due to his role in the appalling 2005 video footage released Friday, also known as the Trump Tape.
But what about Donald Trump? He issued an "apology."
"Trump himself still doesn't appear to realize how horrifying his remarks actually were because during his apology, he was already trying to minimize the incident," "Last Week Tonight" host John Oliver pointed out.
Ironically, by attempting to minimize it, Trump drew on some pretty unsettling truths.
"Let's be honest, we're living in the real world, this is nothing more than a distraction from the important issues we're facing today," Trump said in his statement regarding the tape. However, he ended his "apology" by attacking both Bill and Hillary Clinton, a strategy that left many viewers scratching their heads.
"First, I am genuinely disappointed to hear him say we are living in the real world," Oliver retorted. "I have secretly hoped this whole election was a horrible dream."
But at this point, are the comments in the tape really that shocking, coming from Donald Trump? Oliver didn't think so.
"This is not a distraction nor is it even a surprise," Oliver said. "If Jimmy Carter had been caught saying that stuff, sure, we would all be shocked but with Trump it's entirely in character."
And unfortunately for Republicans, they'll have to carry their deplorable candidate to term.
"Early voting has begun, so people have already voted for him [in the general election]," explained Oliver. "This is happening! And in a way perhaps we've always been heading to this historic moment: the first female presidential nominee versus the human embodiment of every backwards, condescending madmen-esque boys club that has ever existed, poured into one giant salivating d*ck-size-referencing, p*ssy-grabbing warthog in a red power-tie!"
The audience cheered. But Oliver wasn't done just yet.
"I'll put it this way," Oliver concluded. "If American democracy is a computer game and Hillary is completing women's 100-year quest to get to the Oval Office, it kind of makes sense that [Trump] would be the final boss."