Colbert Mocks Hostage-Like Melania Trump for Desperately Throwing Billy Bush Under the Bus
Even though the Billy Bush/Donald Trump video leaked nearly two weeks ago, Trump has yet to take responsibility for his actions. But why should he do anything more than offer up a totally lame apology, asks his wife Melania Trump. After all, Billy Bush made him do it.
"They were kind of [having] a boy talk, and he was [led] on, like egg[ed] on," Melania Trump told CNN's Anderson Cooper of her husband Monday night.
Really, Melania? Have you heard the tape? Trump initiates the conversation.
“Now I know why they’re on a bus. It’s easier to throw Billy underneath it,” Colbert joked. “So, let me get this straight,” he continued. “Melania’s defense of Donald Trump, the man who wrote The Art of the Deal, is that he got out-maneuvered by a guy who has been deemed by the ‘Today Show’ to be unqualified to watch someone else make a festive fall frittata. If Billy Bush can manipulate Donald Trump, we’ve got to keep President Trump away from heavy hitters like Mario Lopez… Just imagine what impact Billy will have once Trump has the nuclear launch codes.”
Next, Colbert introduced Laura Benanti as Melania, the "Late Show" actress who last portrayed Trump's wife in July following her infamous Republican National Convention speech. Benanti/Melania assured the crowd she was excited to be back, but that it was her choice to leave (a point the real Melania Trump made several times about leaving the campaign trail following her plagiarism gaffe).
“They did not send me to an undisclosed location. I am a private person, Stephen. My life is not a photo op,” Benanti said. After all, Melania just wanted to get to the issues.
“Stephen, why are we talking about me? We need to focus on the important issues facing our nation like how the election is rigged,” she continued, blaming leftist media, Billy Bush and the banking industry.
“Billy Bush?” Colbert wondered. “You don’t blame your husband for what he said?”
“Yes, I do! I said to my husband that those words are very inappropriate, plus, he said them on a bus. Disgusting,” said Benanti/Melania. “This is not the man I married.”
She insisted she had forgiven her husband for the "locker room talk."
"I did not know this, but when American men gather to sport they always brag of grabbing women by the Billy Bush,” she said, adding that the accusations are total lies “except the ones [caught on] videotape. Then, it’s ‘locker room talk.'”
And the Miss Teen USA girls' changing room, where Trump reportedly liked to watch naked underage girls, is kind of close to a locker room, right?
“I am fine," she told the host, blinking wildly, when asked if she was OK. "I’m certainly not blinking out in Morse code that someone else is in the room and telling me what to say."