Donald Trump Sneaks out of Bed to Attack Alicia Machado and Tell America to Watch a Sex Tape

Election '16

The best kind of temperament is the kind that gnaws, gnaws, gnaws at your guts until you have to get up at 3AM and start writing attack-tweets against a woman you first humiliated when she was an 18-year-old girl.

First, there’s a literal she’s-no-angel post, of the kind Republicans inevitably seem to create as justification for anything up to and including shooting someone.

Then comes the oh-this-is-trouble-for-Hillary-not-me post.

And then comes the Republican Nominee for President of the United States, huddled under his covers, snickering as he tells everyone to go check out the sex tape of the “disgusting” former Miss Universe.

Sure. Good. Because this is exactly the kind of message Trump needs to send right in the middle of his campaign telling everyone what a “gentleman” he was at the debate and praising the “restraint” he showed by not adding a new sub-basement to his already astounding series of sexist remarks. 

Oh, and the sex tape bit? It’s was debunked before Trump started tweeting.

But there are several fake sex tapes out there purportedly showing Machado. You have to wonder; Just how many of them has Donald Trump watched, sitting there, at 3AM.

Okay, Kellyanne, Hope, small army of hard-working Trump shit-polishers. Get your hip-waders on, because it’s going to be another fun, fun morning of cleaning up after the boss. 

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