Colbert Mocks Trump Doctor's Bizarre Description of a Physical: 'Like Losing Your Virginity on Prom Night'

Donald Trump is a big fan of doctor's notes. After all, "it's how he got out of Vietnam!" pointed out "Late Show" host Stephen Colbert.


Last December, Trump released a one-page letter from his physician, which sounded a lot like something Trump himself would write. The letter appeared questionable for a number of reasons, including the fact that it began with the words, "To Whom My Concern."

"Is that a typo?" Colbert asked. "My-be, My-be not."

But Trump's doctor is real and gave an exclusive interview on NBC News this past Friday.

"The doctor in question is gastroenterologist and Trump's strategic hair reserve, Dr. Harold Bornstein," said Colbert, adding, "He looks like a guy who can not only write you a prescription for drugs, but tell you what they taste like."

"Bornstein proved he's a gastroenterologist because the letter seemed like he yanked it from where the sun don't shine," Colbert continued.

"For example, his assertion that 'Mr. Trump has had a complete medical examination that showed only positive results,' and positive results are always good. Blood pressure? Positive! Cholesterol? Positive! Chlamydia? Positive!"

In addition to describing Trump's health as "extraordinary," Bornstein also stated in the letter that if Trump becomes president, he will be the "healthiest individual ever elected"... despite the GOP nominee's "prescription of KFC and taco bowls," joked Colbert.

Watch:

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal

Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.