These Twitter Reactions to Ted Cruz Dropping Out of Presidential Race Are Bleak and Hilarious
After suffering yet another defeat by alleged human Donald Trump during Tuesday night’s primary in Indiana, notorious handshake attempter Ted Cruz dropped out of the race for president. Twitter—being that they are Twitter and having feelings about things is pretty much all they (OK, we) do—had a lot of feelings about it. Frankly, since our entire country is a raging dumpster fire flying at screaming speeds down a hill into our own self-made oblivion, I’m pretty keen on the plan to not think about what Ted Cruz dropping out of the presidential race means, and think about how downright swell it is that even if we have to live in a time when our reality is a fiery nightmare that even history’s greatest dystopian authors couldn’t have dreamed up, it’s also chock full of very funny people who will make us laugh-cry about it. At least there’s still that, guys.
ted cruz has dropped out of the presidential race to focus on his career of being a serial killer full time— elijah daniel (@elijah daniel)1462322584.0
Ted Cruz may have left the race, but he will never leave our white evangelical conservative extremist hearts! https://t.co/CmBGqCVoiu— Gabriel Gundacker (@Gabriel Gundacker)1462322630.0
Ted Cruz's home planet is very disappointed right now.— maura quint (@maura quint)1462322602.0
Ted Cruz right now https://t.co/mG4KxDq7pb— Darth Vader (@Darth Vader)1462323385.0
Yay Ted Cruz suspended his campaign haha what a loser haha now the guaranteed GOP candidate for President is Donald Trump hahaha we're fine— Just Some Guy | Black Lives Matter (@Just Some Guy | Black Lives Matter)1462323340.0
*crosses fingers that zodiac killer ted cruz emerges from anonymity once and for all to claim the donald as his last and final victim*— Matt Bellassai (@Matt Bellassai)1462323824.0
So Carly Fiorina joined the campaign just in time to lay everyone off?— Kevin Robillard (@Kevin Robillard)1462321904.0
I wonder what he's going to do next. https://t.co/n1mrpBFZ8h— Sam Stryker (@Sam Stryker)1462322293.0
And then there were the people who took this delicate moment to remind us of the probably-more-terrifying fact that no President Cruz means we still have fucking Senator Cruz to deal with:
Ted Cruz is suspending his campaign. But he's not stopping the fight to shut down the federal govt. when things don't go his way,— Donna Brazile (@Donna Brazile)1462322557.0
Get ready Washington Republicans, Ted Cruz is coming back to the Senate.— Katie Pavlich (@Katie Pavlich)1462322554.0
Let us never forget who truly lost tonight: the American people. For we are now doomed to live a life where we never get to see this man attempt to shake hands with the most powerful people in the world on our behalf. *shakes fist at sky*
#BREAKING: Ted Cruz drops out of the GOP presidential race, less than a week after announcing a running mate. https://t.co/GjqmhKwUhc— Splinter (@Splinter)1462322594.0
Oh well, at least we’ll have Trump there in his place to randomly accuse them of historically inaccurate crimes.