Watch: Colbert Rips Transphobic GOP Lawmakers: 'Newsflash! You're the Weirdos'

Stephen Colbert got down with some bathroom humor on Tuesday night's show. 


“Here’s the thing,” he said. “I don’t care if you’re male or female, what sex or gender identity someone is, I—and I mean this sincerely—do not want to share a bathroom with anyone. For two reasons: No. 1—and No. 2.”

Of course, he was not there to make sophomoric poop jokes; his target was the ridiculous and hateful political posturing around who gets to use which bathroom with whom.

Public bathrooms, he pointed out, are necessary evils.

“When I am forced to use a public bathroom—which is infrequently, thank God—I go in there with blinders on,” Colbert said. “I don’t know who’s next to me. It could be a centaur next to me, for all I know. I don’t even like to look at myself in the mirror afterwards. I know what I did. I’m there for a surgical strike—get in, get out, minimal casualties.”

He closed his monologue with this: “To all those lawmakers out there who are so obsessed with who’s using what bathroom and what plumbing they’ve got downtown—newsflash: You’re the weirdos.”

That is undeniable.

Watch:

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