Watch: Colbert Perfectly Nails Trump's Insane Reality Show Campaign

Election '16

The presidential election is the hottest reality show on TV now, thanks to Donald Trump. On Super Tuesday III, five states voted—Florida, Illinois, Ohio, North Carolina and Missouri.


“And like all sequels, it’s getting predictable and very expensive,” said Late Show host Stephen Colbert on Wednesday. “On the Democratic side, Hillary shut out Bernie five-zip including Florida, and on the Republican side, Donald Trump won four of five states; then delivered a stirring victory tantrum.”

“Nobody has ever, ever, in the history of politics, received the kind of negative advertising as I have,” Trump told the Palm Beach, Florida crowd. “Can you explain it to me, because I can’t, my numbers went up!”

The total illogic of it might be something we can all agree on, for once.

“It might have something to do with the great endorsements Donald’s getting,” Colbert joked. “For instance, former candidate and man always looking directly into the sun Ben Carson, who told this inspiring tale of how he came to support Donald Trump.”

“I have to look at what is practical,” Carson told Newsmax this past Monday, adding, “Is there another scenario that I would have preferred? Yes. But that scenario isn’t available.”

[[{"type":"media","view_mode":"media_original","fid":"608811","attributes":{"alt":"","class":"media-image","height":"180","typeof":"foaf:Image","width":"320"}}]]

Could creepy Cruz stop dangerous Donald?

"That is a rough endorsement,” Colbert said, comparing Carson’s desperation to a late night of binge drinking: “I tell you what, the bar’s about to close, you’re not getting any younger and neither am I. Let’s get married.”

There was still one state Trump didn’t win, Ohio, which went to its governor, John Kasich. For someone making a pretty bold claim in his victory speech, you’d think he’d have won other states by now.

“We’re gonna go all the way to Cleveland and secure the Republican nomination,” Kasich told supporters in Berea, Ohio.

"To secure the nomination in Cleveland this summer, Kasich would have to get 116% of the remaining delegates," Colbert pointed out. "We’d have to make him governor of every remaining state, plus some states that we don’t even have yet! He’s looking very good in North Kentucksylvania and Massachippissippi.”  

“There’s only one Republican candidate left who can stop Donald Trump,” Colbert said, referring to Ted "Creepy Stepdad" Cruz. “Then the GOP establishment can say, Goodbye candidate we don’t like. Hello candidate we can’t stand!”

Watch:

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal
{{ post.roar_specific_data.api_data.analytics }}
@2022 - AlterNet Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. - "Poynter" fonts provided by fontsempire.com.