Watch: Colbert Hilariously Mocks Chris Christie's Sad-Faced Speech About Trump's Super Tuesday Win
March 03, 2016
Stephen Colbert made ample fun of the results of Super Tuesday and the candidates' reactions to the results on Wednesday night's show, noting that Marco Rubio won only one state, for instance. "That put Cruz ahead of Marco Rubio, his top rival, in the race to be the final candidate to pass through Donald Trump's digestive track," he quipped. "Rubio only won one state, which is really exactly what he wanted."
"Last night was not supposed to be my night. I never said Super Tuesday was going to be our big night," Rubio attempted to spin when asked about the results.
"Yeah, Rubio was just asking voters if they wanted to see a movie this weekend," joked Colbert. "When they said no, he said, 'Good, I didn't want to see it either, I hate movies, wow, we have so much in common, do you want to go to the movies?' And he was not the only candidate to perfectly realize his goal of not winning last night. So did Ohio governor John Kasich."
"Super Tuesday was never anything that we thought was going to be some great thing for us," Kasich announced afterward.
"Yeah, it's only thirteen states," mocked Colbert. "Kasich still has a clear path to the presidency. Just take the White House tour, sneak into the Oval Office, lock the door and claim squatter's rights!"
Then there was Chris Christie's incredibly unenthusiastic speech introducing seven-state winner Donald Trump, for which Colbert comes up with the perfect analogy.
Watch: The Morning After Super Tuesday