If Male Politicians Are Going to Keep Taxing Tampons as 'Luxury Items,' They Might as Well Tax These 10 Things as Well

Across the United States, tampons and other feminine hygiene products are being taxed as luxury items, an entirely appropriate idea when you consider what a luxury having your period is.

This week, legislators in Utah continued to make feminine products part of the 1 percent by voting to reject a bill aimed at exempting tampons, sanitary napkins and other feminine products from taxation.

Perhaps the all-male Utah committee that voted 8 to 3 to kill the legislation would consider taxing other “luxury items” that I, a woman, take for granted, such as:

1. The air I breathe in slowly and deeply to stop the debilitating pain of my menstrual cramps.

2. The rainbow that could lead me to the pot of gold I could use to pay for taxes on my tampons.

3. Sunsets on that beach where I got my period once and didn’t have any money to buy a tampon.

4. The clouds that shade me on the days my period is making me hot and fussy.

5. Flowers that remind me of my first scented maxi pads.

6. The grass we were going to make love on, but then I realized I’d gotten my period.

7. The stars that shone down on me that time we went camping and I got my period at 3 a.m. and the outhouse was all the way over in the next loop of camping sites and we forgot to bring flashlights.

8. The wind that dried the tears on my cheeks after it was pointed out to me that I had worn white jeans.

9. The smile on my gynecologist’s face when I couldn’t remember the first day of my last period.

10. Every time I was asked if it was “that time of the month.”

These are mere suggestions for the Utah boys and the dozens of other state legislatures that consider tampons a luxury. We are just so damn lucky to have you handling these decisions for us. Decisions are really, really hard.