WATCH: Stephen Colbert Reveals Donald Trump's Real Strategy

Stephen Colbert swore to himself he wouldn't talk about Trump so much, but he basically couldn't help himself since everyone else at the nation's water cooler is these days. The Late Show host wondered just how the TSA will be able to tell if people are Muslim in order to ban one quarter of the world's population from coming into the U.S. "Although their patdowns are thorough enough to tell if you are Jewish," Colbert quipped. "I used to have to pay someone to do that."

Colbert's lightbulb moment was that Trump just says wildly offensive things every few days to everyone in the country except white people in order to keep everyone on TV talking about him endlessly. But as a white person, Colbert feels a little left out. And he limited the air time he gave Trump, by quoting Philadelphia Mayor Nutter who simply called Trump "an asshole."

Then Colbert turned his attention to Hillary Clinton who, he says, "has been harder to find than her e-mails." And finally to Ben Carson for a hilarious string of Hamas\hummus jokes.


Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card


Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.