No, Jeb Can't Fix It: Colbert Slams Bush's New Half-Ass*d Campaign Slogan

Jeb Bush is not looking too hot. He's down 6 points in a recent Quinnipiac poll, has already gone through a "campaign shakeup," came off poorly in the most recent debate, and his donors are flocking to the GOP establishment's new golden boy, Marco Rubio. In response, the Jebster has rolled out the rather uninspired new campaign slogan, "Jeb can fix it!"


Stephen Colbert pounced on the corny reboot Wednesday night. "Yes, Jeb can fix it," Colbert mocked. "Just like when your pilot gets on and says, 'This is your captain speaking and I just want to say, I swear, I know how to land a plane.'" 

Presumably, the ability to fix things should be assumed of any leader, to say nothing of a president, which makes this new theme all the more bizarre. What exactly is Jeb fixing?

Well, turns out it's his campaign. Colbert played a series of clips of Bush rambling to the press about how tough he is and how he's going to have a comeback. No one seems to be buying it.

"This really inspires confidence in your candidate," the Late Show host said. "I can imagine Bush's address to Congress. 'The state of our union is... look, I know it's got to get better, I mean. It has to, right?'"

Jeb looks like an absentee father trying to make good with his estranged kids, not a presidential candidate trying to win over the public. What will he stoop to next?

Watch the clip below:

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal

Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.