5 Ridiculous Right-Wing Moments This Week: Ben Carson's Latest Delusion

1. Don’t worry, President Ben Carson would only crack down on liberal speech on college campuses.

Ben Carson, who now leads the polls in Iowa (apparently because Muslim-bashing and comparing Obamacare to slavery is wildly popular among Republican voters there), had some comforting words for his fellow conservatives this week. He will preserve their free-speech rights on college campuses, but monitor those with more left-leaning views.

Whew! That is a relief. For a minute there, we thought when he told radio host Dana Loesch he would charge the Department of Education with monitoring and punishing examples of “extreme political bias” at colleges and universities that he was going to threaten people’s First Amendment rights. But it turns out, he only means people with whom he disagrees.

“There are some who would say that it’s kind of like monitoring political speech,” Loesch said. “Do you agree with their assessment of that?”

“No, I don’t," Carson replied. “I think it’s a very big difference. But, of course, that would be the first thing that the left would claim because they want to be able to continue to do this, and it’s not appropriate for public funding to be used to indoctrinate students in one direction.”

The highly educated neurosurgeon perceives neither the irony nor the hypocrisy of this position because, apparently, he missed that day in school.

2. Trump says he’d consider Carson as V.P.

Even though Carson is edging out Trump in the polls in Iowa, the Donald still considers himself Top Dog. So, of course, he’s thinking about who he will choose as his running mate.

In a wide-ranging radio interview this week, during which the Donald bragged about how “amazing” his relationships with Latinos and women, and especially Hispanic women are, Trump mentioned that the lunatic doctor could be his V.P.

“We get along very well,” the crazy-coiffed real estate tycoon said. We are sure they have bonded over hating political correctness and loving Jesus.

The Trump/Carson ticket is the dream-team for Ann Coulter, who Trump described as “fantastic, she’s been so supportive and I appreciate it. She’s been great.”

She's particularly great when she spews racist venom about immigrants.

Good times.

3. Romney takes credit for the Obamacare he ran against.

When he was running for president in 2012, Mitt Romney took great pains to repudiate the health insurance plan he created as Massachusetts governor. He had to. It was the law. How else could he run against Obamacare, which resembles Romneycare and is the source of all evil?

It was not an easy act of political contortionism. He didn’t really pull it off, but he sure did try. In response to his Republican rivals coining the term “Obamneycare,” Mitt flailed desperately as he claimed that Romneycare had not really worked all that well in Massachusetts. He promised to repeal Obamacare if elected and vowed that on his first day as president, he would “grant a waiver to all 50 states from Obamacare."

Sadly for the Mittster, this did not come to pass. So now it’s time to forget he said all that stuff completely.

In an obituary for Staples founder Thomas G. Stemberg, the former Republican nominee praised Stemberg for helping push “Romneycare,” which in turn, Romney said, led to Obamacare, giving “a lot of people” health coverage.

Which is terrible, right?

4. Clownish Alabama Congressman says he’ll impeach Hillary on Day One.

Alabama Rep. Mo Brooks said he is good and ready for a Hillary Clinton presidency. He’s ready to remove her from office, Brooks said during a recent interview with radio talk show host Matt Murphy.

"In my judgment, with respect to Hillary Clinton, she will be a unique president if she is elected by the public next November, because the day she's sworn in is the day that she's subject to impeachment because she has committed high crimes and misdemeanors." He said Congress had a “legal basis to remove her from office.”

Yah. Good luck with that. This nonsense-spewer was referring to the ongoing email pseudo-scandal, which is gaining almost as much traction as the laughably wasteful endless Benghazi investigation. He reiterated his comments in a later interview with The Hill. So, it is not as if he misspoke.

He added: "Why do you think Joe Biden is thinking about running for president? To a large degree, he's waiting to see if Hillary Clinton gets arrested or indicted."

Guess Biden got tired of waiting.

For her part, Clinton was quaking in her boots. On MSNBC’s “Rachel Maddow Show,” she just said, “Isn’t that pathetic? It’s just laughable. It’s so totally ridiculous.”

Since when has that stopped a Republican lawmaker?

5. FBI director absurdly blames viral police brutality videos for crime spike.

FBI director James Comey committed an extreme act of mental contortionism on Friday, blaming viral cell phone videos of police misconduct for the increase in violent crime in several large cities. How so, and how does he “know” this? He just does. His spidey sense is tingling, that’s how.

"I don't know whether this explains it entirely, but I do have a strong sense that some part of the explanation is a chill wind blowing through American law enforcement over the last year,” Comey said, speaking to students during a forum at the University of Chicago Law School. “And that wind is surely changing behavior."

These videos are hurting police and community relations, Comey claimed, which is funny because we thought it was the behavior the videos reveal that is blowing that chill wind. "I actually feel the lines continuing to arc away from each other, incident by incident, video by video," Comey waxed on.

He does have a pretty way of putting those totally wrong-headed thoughts, which reportedly were not well-received by the Justice Department, or other rational thinkers.

Chicago, Cleveland, Dallas, Washington, D.C. and Baltimore have all seen increases in violent crime of late. Baltimore is averaging more than one homicide a day, Comey pointed out, which is a higher rate than New York City, with 13 times as many people.

"Why is it happening ... all over and all of a sudden?" Comey asked. "I've heard a lot of theories — reasonable theories."

Unfortunately, he decided to highlight one that is not so reasonable.

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