WATCH: Helen Mirren and John Oliver Definitively Debunk Notion that Torture Ever Works

The fact that 57 percent of Americans think that "enhanced interrogation techniques," a.k.a. torture, can elicit useful information to prevent terrorist attacks is distressing, to say the least. As John Oliver explained on his show Sunday night, there's a reason for that: Torture works on TV, especially when that handsome Jack Bauer does it on the show "24."


It is not only America's idiots who fail to recognize that fiction is not reality, and torture scenes in "24" are s dramatic device, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is just as confused on the matter. He has actually written, "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles . . . I don't think anyone would arrest him."

Aaaaaaahhh!

Oliver came up with a brilliant strategy to make the vital and damning document, The Senate Intelligence Committee Report on Torture, more accessible—Helen Mirren's lovely voice. This is not a joke. Helen Mirren actually reads the torture report. In dulcet tones, as if she were reading a bedtime story, she reads passages about people who were rectally fed hummus, waterboarded and died of hypothermia. Perhaps that will convince the new CIA director to at least consume this important document as a book on tape. He hasn't read it.

As it stands right now, a flimsy executive order is all that stands between our relative civility, and a return to the days when, as Obama said, "we tortured some folks."

It's all brilliantly laid out here:

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