5 Nonsensical Right-Wing Statements in the Past Week
1. Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow: 'Embryos are people, and men should be able to veto women’s abortions.'
For some reason, Fox’s resident men’s rights activist, “Dr.” Keith Ablowhard, thinks the world should give a shit about what he thinks women should do with their bodies and their frozen embryos. Ablow got a chance to express his Neanderthal views on reproductive rights on Fox’s “Outnumbered” last week, during which the hot topic of Sofia Vergara’s fight with ex-fiance Nick Loeb over the fate of their frozen embryos was under discussion.
In short, Vergara wants the embryos destroyed. Loeb doesn’t. That should end the discussion pretty much, since their agreement states that both of them must be on board in order to bring any of those embryos to full term—but, well, no. Loeb is fighting to have the agreement voided, and has gone public with that desire.
Cue Ablow, the oh-so-scientific and unbiased “psychiatrist” who has diagnosed President Obama with “America hatred” and Michelle Obama with “needing to lose a few pounds.”
“Why would a woman’s right to decide what to do with a frozen embryo trump a man’s right every time?” he asked the ladies who co-host the show. “If he wants to bring these embryos to term, good for him. He wants to parent. If he wants to have them adopted, good for him. You know what, it’s not a coin toss. It’s whoever wants that potential being to survive, that’s who wins.”
He also chided Vergara for starring in a “liberal” show (“Modern Family”) where “anything goes,” a not very veiled reference to the fact that there is a gay couple in the show. It’s “interesting,” Ablow said, “that when it comes to her choices in life, she wants all the control.” (Is it? Don't most people want control over their big decisions in life?) “Not very modern, Sofia,” the doctor diagnosed.
Ablow kept harping away and referring to frozen embryos as "children," the better to make his real point: “I’ve been outspoken on this,” he said. “I think men should be able to veto women’s abortions if they’re willing to care for the child after it’s born.”
2. Constitution-loving Ben Carson: Federal gov’t doesn’t need to recognize gay marriage SCOTUS ruling.
Dr. Ben Carson, Fox’s other level-headed medical professional, the one who believes prison rape proves that being gay is a lifestyle choice, brought joy to the world last week when he declared his candidacy for president.
Carson then kicked things off with a bang by shredding the Constitution. Curiously enough, it had to do with same-sex marriage, an issue about which Carson normally shows such a rational approach. Carson said that the federal government does not need to recognize a Supreme Court decision on gay marriage because the president is only obligated to recognize laws passed by Congress, not judicial rulings.
“First of all, we have to understand how the Constitution works; the president is required to carry out the laws of the land, the laws of the land come from the legislative branch,” Carson said. “So if the legislative branch creates a law or changes a law, the executive branch has a responsibly to carry it out. It doesn’t say they have the responsibility to carry out a judicial law.”
Hmmm, we must be reading a different Constitution than the one Carson studied in medical school. But, he'd rather just write his own Constitution anyway, one that includes a provision for impeaching judges who back marriage equaliity.
Either Carson is just a complete looney tunes dressed in the garb of a neurologist, or he’s having an undue amount of trouble accepting the fact that the world has evolved to a place where it is really no big deal that same-sex couples, like other couples, deserve equal rights. Probably the former. No, the latter. No, both.
3. Senator Jim Inhofe: Carbon is good for the planet.
Senator Jim Inhofe, the Oklahoma Republican who thought he had dispensed with this whole climate change debate when he brought that snowball to the senate floor, is very annoyed that people are still talking about climate change as though it were real.
Now he has advanced his argument, which previously consisted of, "how come there is still a snowball on a globally warmed planet," and "climate change is the biggest hoax ever perpetrated" to an even bigger doozy: that, as a matter of fact, CO2 is actually good for the environment.
Yes, science and all of humanity be damned, bad will henceforth be considered good. Don’t worry, Inhofe argued on the senate floor, be happy. If carbon dioxide levels are rising (really not an if; they are rising), Inhofe counseled his fellow senators not to cave to “climate alarmists.” They should, instead, throw a party.
“Increasing observations suggest a much-reduced and practically harmless climate response to increased amounts of atmospheric carbon dioxide,” he said. Actually, it’s better than harmless, he continued. “Increased carbon… has led to a greening of the planet and contributed to increased agricultural productivity.”
Mother Earth should be thanking us, in other words, for polluting her for her own good and making her even greener than she would otherwise be. It must be so for the chair of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee has said it is so.
And if you don’t believe him, watch out for the snowball about to bean you on the head.
4. Right-wing columnist suggests charging climate scientists with war crimes.
In addition to snowball antics, the aforementioned Senator Inhofe is also noted for his measured comparison of the documentary, An Inconvenient Truth to Mein Kampf. Perhaps then he would also back an idea advanced by a columnist at Taki’s Magazine, home of many a disgraced right-wing crazy—a call to have climate scientists tried for war crimes.
The columnist is David Cole, famous for denying not just climate change, but the Holocaust, and he writes that it is time for a public “reckoning” for all those mean-spirited experts and scientists who keep bumming us out about the climate and making our lawmakers think we should maybe do something about it. Cole thinks we should, “Haul them in front of congressional committees. Initiate civil suits. Be merciless. I’m talking about some heavy-handed draconian Nuremberg Trial nastiness.”
That’s right, a Holocaust denier has just called for Nuremberg-style war crimes tribunals against climate change scientists, with no sense of irony whatsoever.
And if that is not crazy enough for you, Cole made a little video to illustrate his point featuring Playboy Playmate of the Year Kennedy Summers.
This all makes perfect sense in what passes for his head.
5. Jeb Bush accuses Obama and progressives of intolerance ...because religious people can't discriminate.
Jeb Bush made various veiled references to the apparently unstoppable progress of same-sex marriage and the horrific blows dealt to the "religious freedom" of those who want to discriminate against gay couples during his commencement address Saturday at Liberty University, a Christian school in Lynchburg, Virginia. The former Florida governor and presumptive GOP presidential frontrunner campaigned by slamming the Obama administration for its war on good Christian poeple.
"As usual, the present administration is supporting the use of coercive federal power," Bush reportedly said. "What should be easy calls, in favor of religious freedom, have instead become an aggressive stance against it."
And no, we're not exactly sure what he is talking about either. Wait, could it be same-sex marriage?
"Somebody here is being small-minded and intolerant, and it sure isn’t the nuns, ministers and laymen and women who ask only to live and practice their faith," Bush continued nonsensically. "Federal authorities are demanding obedience, in complete disregard of religious conscience — and in a free society, the answer is no."
Wait, what was the question?
It's those old devil progressives again, always trying to move things forward. Hate that.
"The stories vary, year after year, but the storyline is getting familiar," Bush said. "The progressive political agenda is ready for its next great leap forward, and religious people or churches are getting in the way. Our friends on the left like to view themselves as the agents of change and reform, and you and I are supposed to just get with the program."
Yeah, and so what's the problem with that?