5 Reasons the Fracas over Hillary's Email Is Going to Fizzle Out

Tired of hearing about Hillary Clinton’s emails?

Welcome to America.

It has only been six (6) days now since it was revealed that Hillary Clinton was using a “homebrewed” — presumably artisanal — server hosting an email account from which she conducted at least some of her State Department business.  While other policy makers have used personal email accounts to conduct business — Sarah Palin, Karl Rove, and Scott Walker come to mind — Hillary is the prohibitive favorite to become the next president of the United States and that means this one is a big hairy deal.

Mostly to a political press that wants a horse race and not a blow-out in 2016, and to Republicans whose ‘deep bench’ is loaded with bench players and not starters.

Short of an email with ‘#Benghazi #LOL” in the subject line, or Hillary signing off on all of her emails with “Death to America, comrades!” whatever we are calling this ‘scandal’ is unlikely to have much effect should she be the 2016 Democratic nominee.

Let us count the reasons why…

They are the Clintons-

No matter how you slice it, Bill and Hillary Clinton come as a package deal. During their public careers they have been accused of murder, rape, drug dealing, kidnapping, insider trading, shady land deals, communism, perjury, cronyism, accepting foreign money for a “global Initiative” (go figure why they would do that),  hanging crack pipes on the White house Christmas tree, and being a lesbian (Hillary only, but Bill swings that way towards the ladies too.) Out of all of that, the only thing that stuck was a blow job, which made Bill more popular than ever.

It’s not that they are squeaky clean on some of these counts — they’re not — it’s just that the GOP has cried wolf so many times, nobody listens to them anymore when it comes to the Clinton’s.

Which leads us to…

The Republicans-

After spending eight years investigating the Clintons and six years investigating President Obama, the GOP looks like it is made up of the love children of Javert and Inspector Clouseau. Once a Democrat becomes president they immediately begin investigations and convene oversight hearings in an effort to delegitimize the newly elected president – and they never ever stop. Millions of dollars later, all they’ve got to show for their efforts so far Bill Clinton’s well-worn penis. Call it overreach, call it obsessive-compulsive behavior,  they just can’t help themselves from treating every so-called scandal as if it was the End of the American Experiment in Democracy.

The press-

As Jack Shafer notes, the press will stay on this until something else shiny catches their eye and their editors say Hillary email stories aren’t even clicky with headlines like, ‘One weird trick Hillary Clinton used to avoid scrutiny.’ While the Clintons play a long game, the press has to deal with a public with the attention span of a sugared-up toddler.  If you can’t keep their attention with Hillary Clinton murdering her lesbian lover, Vince Foster, and then moving this body and making it look like a suicide, you’re certainly not going to keep their attention with emails containing  kale muffin recipes, or  even “ugh, Netanyahu … that guy,” which would actually make Hillary even more popular.

Not the press-

By which I mean Fox News.

Since they’re not really journalists — despite claims to the contrary — Fox will keep humping the story which automatically makes it a national joke.  They will keep doing this for their audience who already are not going to vote Hillary, either because she is a libtard Demon-rat lesbian witch or because, as a Fox viewer, it is unlikely they will still be alive to vote in 2016, much less to eat those two green bananas they bought on Wednesday, if you get my drift.

The public-

We have all seen this movie before. After all the sturm und drang and Kermit arm-flailing the public knows deep down that nothing much will come from accusations against a Clinton.  There is still a year and a half before the election, and something else the Clintons will do, have done, supposedly did, or are thinking about doing will move to the top of the list and fail to gain traction, and once again the Republicans will be left standing with a dick in their hand.

And it won’t be Bill Clinton’s this time.


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