5 Insane Right-Wing Moments This Week: Giuliani Becomes Totally Unhinged

The Right Wing

1. Rudy Giuliani: Obama doesn’t love me or America because he’s not like us.

There is one sure sign of America-hatred, and it is running for and winning the presidency twice. While black. Another sign of hating America is not being Rudy Giuliani, and not having had the specific experiences that he has had. Like marrying your cousin, avoiding the draft, dumping your wife on TV, race-baiting your way to the mayoralty, backing police brutality against minorities and acting somewhat more like a leader than George Bush on 9/11.

In what some see as his most desperate bid to remain relevant yet, the increasingly unhinged, totally self-deluded ex-Mayor continued his quest to become the new Donald Trump this week. He did this by saying some really stupid thinly-disguised racist crap about Obama, “not loving America” because Obama "wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up.” He said this to a conservative audience at an event for scary Republican upcomer Scott Walker. Later, when questioned about it, damned if Giuliani didn’t double down with the absurd claim that his comments about the president just can’t be racist because Obama had a white mother.

Cue the pinwheel hat.

“Some people thought it was racist — I thought that was a joke, since he was brought up by a white mother, a white grandfather, went to white schools, and most of this he learned from white people,” Giuliani said in the interview. “This isn’t racism. This is socialism or possibly anti-colonialism.”

Nope, not a shred of racism there. Just like there are no racial undertones  in Donald Trump’s ongoing insistence on seeing Obama’s birth certificate and questioning if Obama really went to Harvard. The weird insertion of the word "love" in Giuliani's speech produced the definitive takedown of the lovely ex-mayor by investigative reporter and Giuliani biographer Wayne Barrett. 

Occasionally, even an unreconstructed old fool can wander inadvertently into the wilderness of truth. Giuliani just might have been right when he told the crowd that Obama “doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me.” What? Obama does not love Giuliani? Why ever not? After all, what is the truest test of patriotism? Loving ridiculous jackasses, of course.

Here's Whoopi Goldberg's take on the whole thing, which can be summed up by, "Shut up Rudy!"

2. Geraldo Rivera: Hip hop has damaged black and brown people more than racism.

Shall we review the things that Fox News contributor Geraldo Rivera considers more damaging to black and brown people than the pernicious and manifold effects of racism? Let’s see, hoodies, LeBron James not wearing a t-shirt that says “Be a good Dad,” and now, hip hop style.

It always seems to be about clothes for Geraldo. What’s with that?

During a conversation about his stint with HuffPost Live this week, Rivera continued in his bizarre tradition of blaming black people for racism.

"Hip-hop has done more damage to black and brown people than racism in the last 10 years," Rivera asserted. Based on zero research—call it a Geraldo hunch—he then challenged listeners to find "a youngster—a Puerto Rican from the South Bronx or a black kid from Harlem who has succeeded in life other than being the one-tenth of one-tenth of one percent that make it in the music business—that's been a success in life walking around with his pants around his ass and with visible tattoos..."

Oh, how those saggy pants do offend Rivera’s sensibilities. It’s upsetting to him. It really is.

But listen, some of his best friends are black. Some of them even made it in hip hop. Although, it should be said, they do not wear saggy pants, for that would be an abomination.

“I love Russell Simmons," Rivera said. "He's a dear friend of mine. I admire his business acumen. At some point, those guys have to cop to the fact that by encouraging this distinctive culture that is removed from the mainstream, they have encouraged people to be so different from the mainstream that they can't participate other than, you know, the racks in the garment center and those entry-level jobs, and I lament it. I really do.”

Rivera. Still lamenting the wrong things, after all these years. The man is nothing if not consistent.

3. Speaking of Donald Trump: He knows what’s good for the Jews.

Donald Trump is not one to yield the spotlight. Just because Giuliani is the current leader in saying clueless yet blatantly racist comments about the president doesn’t mean the Donald’s got nothing to say. Heaven forefend.

On Wednesday, right-wing talk show host Michael Savage begged Donald Trump to run for president, which is just the kind of ego-stroking that warms the lizard-like developer’s blood. Talk turned to Israeli president Benjamin Netanyahu’s upcoming speech to Congress, and Trump saw his opening to chastise Jewish people for voting for Obama. Because, he knows what’s good for Jewish people, and they do not.

 “I have many Jewish friends that support Obama and I say, ‘why?’ and they can’t explain why. They support him, they give him money, they give him campaign contributions,” Trump said. “This is the worst enemy of Israel.”

Not to be outdone, Savage replied: “How could Jewish people give money to this man who may as well be working for the Muslim Brotherhood in terms of Israel?”

Silly Savage and Trump. Obama’s not working for the Muslim Brotherhood. He’s in cahoots with ISIS, of course. Sheesh!

4. Fox Hosts: Abolish public schools but first, stop teaching kids American history.

The right-wing and its media blowhards have been working overtime this week to foster the ignorance of the American people.  Because that is the problem. People are just getting too educated. Too big for their britches. Too self-reflective, analytical and scientific. It is so much harder to scare and manipulate a well-educated populace.

For one thing, what’s with this teaching people actual American history? Fox News and various and sundry Republicans in Oklahoma and the National Repbulican Committee are against that. It’s very unpleasant and it does not always put Americans in the best light. We can’t have that. It causes cognitive dissonance, or it would if there was cognition to begin with. What the world needs now is a more rah rah version of American history.

But Fox host Lisa Kennedy Montgomery would go them all one better. "There really shouldn't be public schools, should there?" Kennedy said on Thursday’s edition of “Outnumbered.” "I mean we should really go to a system where parents of every stripe have a choice, have a say in the kind of education their kids get because, when we have centralized, bureaucratic education doctrines and dogmas like this, that's exactly what happens."

Kennedy was not “outnumbered.” Rocket scientist “America-is-awesome-because-it-is-awesome” Tantaros agreed. Maybe we should just abolish the Department of Education, she suggested, and then our children would not be subjected to “meaningless liberal crap.”

Or, like, knowledge.

That would be awesome.

5. Montana Republican: Make yoga pants illegal!

No one should accuse Republicans of not having a sense of humor. These guys are hilarious. Take David Moore, a state rep from the great state of Montana who has introduced a bill that would make wearing yoga pants illegal.

Oh. Hahahhaha. Good one!

No, he’s serious. It turns out that Moore was victimized by some naked people riding bicycles through the town of Missoula last year. They rode by him and he saw their genitals—or at least knew that their genitals were right there—and it was very traumatizing.  He hasn’t gotten over it. And he vowed to fight this.

This week he introduced legislation to tighten the belt on, well, trousers. His bill, HB 365, would outlaw nudity, of course, but also “any device, costume, or covering that gives the appearance of or simulates the genitals, pubic hair, anus region, or pubic hair region,” according to the Billings Gazette. This would include the wearing of Speedos (European males, beware!) and flesh-colored tight pants. Someone asked him about yoga pants. "Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway," Moore said after the hearing.

Yes, and their wearers should be thrown in jail and the key thrown away. And they should be sentenced to wearing loose-fitting clothing, (but not, it should be said, saggy pants) and there should be no yoga classes in prison, ever.

That’ll teach ‘em!

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