Kristen Schaal Talks Directly to Jon Stewart's Balls in Defense of 'Manspreaders'
Wednesday night, the Daily Show’s Senior Women’s Issues Correspondent Kristen Schaal came to the defense of manspreaders – those guys who sit with such gaping gaps between their knees that they take up two seats on the subway.
In alliance with men’s groups who have complained that the backlash against manspreading is yet more evidence of the war on men’s rights – because god forbid you not make rush hour a nightmare for all of us – Schaal declared herself an ally of manspreaders and spoke directly to John Stewart’s balls in cooing tones.
“You poor caged balls. Your ancestors used to roam free. The wind blowing through your soft fuzzy hair. The sun soaking up into your wrinkled skin. Knowing that this day, this land, this whole goddamn world was yours!”
Check out the clip below for the rest of Schall’s inspired and hilarious “defense” of men’s testicular right to unnecessarily take up all the room on public transport.