WATCH: Jon Stewart Mocks Senators Rubio and Cruz for Their Cynical Positions on Cuba

Jon Stewart invited his little friend "Gitmo"  on his show last night to discuss the prospect of normalization of relations with Cuba.

Republican senators Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz have been vocal in their opposition to the move.

“Surely, you must take solace in Senator Rubio and Cruz’s discussion of American values,” Stewart said to Gitmo. 

“Sure, as long as the moral relativism of their position is sincere, and not a pander to a powerful ex-pat Cuban community in an intent to gain an edge on Florida’s 29 swing-state electoral votes,” Gitmo responded.

Surely not. That would be so cynical! Stewart replied.

Stewart did have to remind Gitmo that Guantanamo is not actually in Cuba, but a U.S. facility.

Gitmo was sorry.

“Brain get cloudy after 10 years,” Gitmo admitted. “What was Gitmo charged with, again?” 

“Charged with?” Stewart said, backpedaling. “Funny story — we haven’t actually gotten around to it. It could be worse; some of our other offshore detainees got food tubes in their rectums.”

“Gitmo dream of food tube in rectum,” Gitmo lamented. “Has to be better than man’s arm.”

Lots more. Watch:


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