WATCH: Stephen Colbert Laments South Carolina's 'War of Same Sex Aggression'

South Carolina is the place where Stephen Colbert traditionally married his female wife. So imagine his chagrin upon learning he could have married some guy named Brad when South Carolina became the 33rd state this week to legalize same-sex marriage. This is a "surrender to the gay agenda," South Carolina native son Colbert said. "Or as we call it, "the war of same-sex aggression."


The late-night funster wrung his hands some more, saying, "It's the stars and bars, not the stars and gay bars," and speculating on what the Conferate Flag might look like now that people can get "gay married."

Funny. Watch:

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