7 Sexiest Ways to Conceal Your Handgun

In an age where almost any simpleton can now legally bring a concealed weapon into a bar and restaurant, why not look titillating at the same time? You don’t want an unsightly gun holster bulge when you’re trying to meet the Red State partner of your dreams. Have the confidence that you can turn heads at TGI Fridays—safe in the knowledge that you have enough firepower in your underwear to blow away a post office.

Femme-fatale NRA-adored sites like Gun Goddess, Pistol & Pumps, Bang Bang Boutique, and Lock & Load Boutique cater to women who love brandishing guns. Yes, Victoria has a secret. And that secret is, she’s packing heat.

1) Flashbank Holster


Their description: “The Flashbang sits horizontally tucked underneath the bra band and the gun is drawn by pulling straight down on the grip. The ultimate in concealability and comfort, the Flashbang lets a woman carry a gun on her person without needing to change the way she dresses. Any stylish gal will tell you that having to dress like a man to carry a gun is an unacceptable option....Carry a gun, dress like a girl, be a Flashionista!”

My take: A gun holster bra conjures of images of Sarah Palin’s first date with Todd.

2) Can Can Concealment Holster


Their description: “An elegant, classy way to carry under skirts and dresses! This thigh holster —no belt required—is perfect for smaller guns up to 1lb and under 6" total length. A belt is available separately for extra support if your gun is bigger/heavier, or if you need to wear the garter over nylons or tights.”

My take: Nothing says classy like a woman who keeps a loaded gun in her underwear. Perfect for turning on the partner of your dreams who also mistrusts the government.

3) Concealment Shorts


Their description: “This pair of Undertech shorts is the perfect way for women to carry and conceal a handgun when wearing a skirt or slacks without a belt. This compression, concealed, shorts holster is built specifically for a woman’s body. It’s extremely comfortable, secure and yet so concealed. Each pair of shorts features two identical, universal holsters—one on each side, so you can carry a handgun on one side and spare magazines on the other.”

My take: So what scenario would require not only having a loaded gun, but also a spare magazine, for further shooting and easily accessible in your underwear?

4) Pink Guns


Their description: “7.62 Precision has declared war on ugly guns! There is no reason for women to use ugly firearms. Women hunt, compete, and carry firearms for protection…Why should their firearms look like they were designed for men? For years women have tried to coordinate their clothing with their style of concealed carry; now they can coordinate their carry pistols with their wardrobe."

My take: Yes, a woman’s gun should be able to match her wardrobe; after all, weapons are simply fashion accessories. 

5) Can Can Concealment Hiphugger Holster


Their description: “So classy, so sexy and so perfectly functional! This waistband holster is a great way to carry smaller guns (up to 6" total length and under 1lb weight)....Pink trim on black, purple trim on black, black trim on black. Works great with skirts! Magnetic weapon retention inside the pockets gives peace of mind that the firearm is securely retained.”

My take: Hmmm? Not to be a buzzkill, but from 2005–2010, 3,800 people in the U.S. died of accidental shootings; when things get hot and heavy in an amorous situation, remember to remove the gun first!

6) Croc Concealed-Carry Tote Purse


Their description: “A stunning concealed-carry tote purse—aqua and brown cowhide with an embossed croc pattern. So elegant!

The concealed-carry compartment has vertical zippered access, with a removable, universal velcro holster. Back of the purse also has a zippered pocket.

Choose to get yours plain and elegant, or add a cross-shaped trim with studs and/or blingy concho! Your purse is meticulously handcrafted in the USA—beautiful quality and workmanship!”

My take: OK, just as long as it was handcrafted in the USA, and not some East Asian concealed weapon purse sweatshop. Again, nothing says elegant more than an easily reachable gun kept in a purse that could drop an entire dinner party quicker than you can say “Obama is a socialist!”

7) Lace Corset Holster


Their description: “This sexy, waist-cinching corset holster by Femme Fatale can be your own little secret! 

Luxurious, embroidered lace covers 6" wide corset elastic which fits comfortably just below your bra. A padded pocket in the front conceals your firearm, and the tension of the garment keeps it nestled snugly beneath your breasts. The pocket is lined with a breathable, waterproof material to help keep perspiration and body oils off your gun. It accommodates a variety of gun sizes and allows for ambidextrous draw.

The holster positions the gun so snugly against your body that even the most petite ladies will get excellent concealability. Holster pocket is roughly 5" deep and 7.5" wide to allow you the option to angle the firearm to your preference. Fits a variety of firearm sizes from sub-compact to full-size.”

There’s more: “As with all holsters, you will need to practice your draw. Practice reaching into the holster from the neck, and also from under your shirt, and determine what styles of clothing will or wont work with this concealment method. You may find that positioning the grip so that it protrudes and nestles between your breasts will provide the fastest draw. Experiment with the grip angle to figure out what conceals best for your body shape and size, while still allowing access to the grip. Very small guns will fit completely inside the corset pocket, but if you place them so that the grip is accessible, the snug fit of the corset will keep the gun in position. To draw, stiffen your hand and drive it straight into the pocket.” 

My take: Now they are catering to gun-toting steampunks. Not too far off, as 13% of women in America own a firearm. No chance off mishap when a loaded gun is snuggled between your breasts.


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