Amazing Video: How to Be a Female Pop Star in Five Easy Steps
Women pop stars are dominating the charts these days. Hooray! This is a major victory for feminism, right?
Alas, it seems that some women are reaching the top of the charts by, ahem, less than feminist tactics.
Harriet Gibsone has made an amazing, sharp-humored video on how you too can be a female pop star for The Guardian.
Her tips include hiring a man to help you write a song, preferably about your body, because that's what you fans will want. And instead of merely celebrating normal-sized bodies for women by just having one, "address you lack of thinness with lyrics about 'skinny bitches.'" It's important to give your young female fans a new slew of body image worries.
Gibsone also advises getting a media strategy. This is much more important than, say, reading up on feminism and forming your own nuanced views on the subject. Of course, Tweeting is an important part of this strategy because, "Nothing screams sisterhood like calling a fellow female entertainer a 'fuck me, hasbeen,'" Gibsone points out.
If this all seems like a lot to remember, don't worry, men have some rules for pop success, too. They include: Do whatever you want (even be a woman beater who refuses to go to anger management classes. It's working for Chris Brown.) Make any old video you want; hiring out a serial killer's imagination has worked for Maroon 5's Adam Levine. Oh yeah, and simply continue to exist.
So, it's fair.
Oh yeah, one more step for women. Don't even dream of aging.