Maureen Dowd Mercilessly Teased on Twitter After Edible Pot Freakout
Maureen Dowd wrote in her New York Times column today that a marijuana chocolate bar she ate put her in an 8-hour hallucinatory state. Dowd, who was visiting Colorado, said she became immobilized on her hotel-room bed.
I was thirsty but couldn’t move to get water. Or even turn off the lights. I was panting and paranoid, sure that when the room-service waiter knocked and I didn’t answer, he’d call the police and have me arrested for being unable to handle my candy.
I strained to remember where I was or even what I was wearing, touching my green corduroy jeans and staring at the exposed-brick wall. As my paranoia deepened, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me.
It turns out the Dowd ate way too much of her chocolate bar (she was supposed to cut it into 16 pieces, but ate an undisclosed portion). However, she claims it was not properly labeled. And after sharing her own cautionary tale and warning others of the potential dangers of edibles, she referenced a 19-year old Wyoming college student who jumped off a balcony and a Denver man who shot his wife to death after over partaking.
Dowd then opined that Colorado is still "coming to grips with the darker side" of marijuana, especially when it comes to dealing with 'green' tourists and children who may eat some of the candy-flavored edibles.
But dozens of users on Twitter were quick to mock Dowd, some even saying that it was a column they’d more expect from the conservative Peggy Noonan, among other jokes. Here's a snark sampler:
"I really want to get high with Maureen Dowd." - said no one ever.— HumanityCritic (@HumanityCritic) June 4, 2014
Maureen Dowd can't finish her article, and I know whhhhyyyy! Because she got high, because she got high, because she got higgggh— Jesse LaGreca (@JesseLaGreca) June 4, 2014
Maureen Dowd "curled up in a hallucinatory state" after eating pot candy. Funny, that's what most people do after reading Maureen Dowd.— CC:Indecision (@indecision) June 4, 2014
In an alternate universe, Maureen Dowd strolls into a wine bar, chugs 3 bottles, falls on the floor, and predicts the apocalypse.— Steve Silberman (@stevesilberman) June 4, 2014
The comments section of the Times was no more kind, but the posts were more critical and less mocking:
You went all the way to Colorado to try pot and didn't do your homework on how to consume your pot-candy?
I went to college in 1967, and let me say that if marijuana caused homicidal behavior and jumping off of roofs, the graduating class would have contained about 10 people.
"I think health, product safety, and consumer protection standards should apply to commercial marijuana products."
That was supposed to be one of the benefits of legalizing this stuff. Of course they should.
They messed up? Well, yeah, people do. That just means they have to redo it the right way.
It's new. Stuff happens. Get it fixed. That does not invalidate the underlying idea of legalization, it just reinforces it by making it public and making the need public. How many people overdid it when it was illegal, and then covered that up or shared it as an insider joke. That's what this is.
Ms. Dowd, if you purchased your edibles from a Colorado recreational dispensary, you conducted the transaction one-on-one with a knowledgeable and potentially helpful professional. (Even when a dispensary is overrun by eager out-of-town op-ed columnists, only a set number of customers is allowed to transact at the counter at any given time.) I'm very surprised you, as a newcomer to recreational pot and NYT reporter (!!!), failed to take advantage of that interaction to learn about the product you were about to consume, its recommended dosage, and expected time to onset. And even if you managed to visit a dispensary without conversing with its staff (which frankly is impossible in my neighborhood shop in Boulder), it seems unlikely that your opening the edible's mandatory child-proof packaging didn't at least prompt five minutes of online investigation before you blindly consumed a drug.
Would you have been so cavalier with a prescription?