WATCH: Colbert Chides Scalia for Envisioning Lesbian Threesomes as Far Back as 2003

Stephen Colbert took on the thorny questions raised by three Massachusetts women who say they are married to one another and want to be legally recognized as a "throuple."


“Excuse me,” Colbert said. “I just ‘throupled’ a little in my mouth. This is a massive affront to traditional marriage. It’s ‘Adam and Eve,’ not ‘Madam and Eve…and Shelia.”

It is a worrisome trend all right, Colbert points out. It could ruin the traditional marriage ruiner of traditional threesomes, which seem like a fun birthday present, until "someone cries everytime the name Stacy comes up."

Of course, as Fox and other conservative media have pointed out, this troubling trend is all the fault of legalizing marriage equality in the first place, which has proven to be a slippery slope from "sodomy to gay marriage to throupling to threestiality."

Three lesbians together has indeed been foretold, by the Supreme Court, "and the entire porn industry.," Colbert quipped.

No one was more prescient than Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia who "was thinking about three lesbians together way back in 2003 when he dissented in Lawrence v. Texas, which struck down Texas’s anti-sodomy law, saying the ruling ‘called into question…state laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity,” Colbert said.

So, that was back when Scalia was still thinking.
Watch:

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card

Close

Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.