Goldman Sachs Banker Screams Racial Slur, Gets Knocked Out Cold

Douglas Reddish, a 25-year-old black man, was attempting to enjoy a burrito with his girlfriend in Greenwich Village on Friday when his peaceful afternoon was disturbed.

A drunk Goldman Sachs banker stumbled right into his outdoor table at Benny’s Burritos. Reddish tried to help the man get back on his feet, but instead of thanking him, the man began screaming racial slurs. 

“This n----r wants to fight me,” he yelled, according to a report in the New York Post.

Reddish did not take kindly to that, and promptly delivered a knockout punch to the banker, who was instantly laid flat on the sidewalk. Benny’s worker Robert Garcia described the scene: “He was out cold. I thought he was dead.”

Reports suggest that the banker was upset about his girlfriend and his job.

Evidently the banker’s head hit the concrete curb on the way down, and he began bleeding profusely, according to police. Alarmed, Reddish fled the restaurant, but was soon apprehended and charged with assault.

Goldman Sachs bankers, on the other hand, have not been charged for the massive financial crimes they have committed, which include betting against the same subprime mortgage securities they were selling to clients — securities referred to inside the company as “crap.”  Inexplicably, Goldman chief Lloyd Blankfein describes this criminal activity as “God’s work.”

Last year, a Goldman Sachs banker published a blockbuster resignation letter in the New York Times, calling Goldman Sachs a "toxic" environment. As part of the Occupy movement, protestors held a mock trial and journalist Chris Hedges read an indictment accusing Goldman Sachs of financial crimes against humanity. 

Meanwhile, Goldman Sachs continues its harmful activities, and is expected to announce that it has lavished a 17 percent pay boost to staff over the last quarter.


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