You Don't Have to Dress as a Bigot or a Slut for Halloween: Here's Some Better Ideas

This round-up of ridiculous and offensive Halloween costumes is sort of amazing. And then, of course, there are all of these. Consider this post your “what not to wear” guide.

Luckily, the Awl offers some great DIY costume ideas for those of us who hate having to choose between Slutty Nurse, Slutty Cop and Slutty Cat every year. (Not that there’s anything wrong with wearing a revealing costume, but October is a cold month, and it’s irritating that there are limited options for women).

But like every Halloween, this one has the potential for disaster. Of course there will be That Vagina Guy, but I suspect that the potential offensive costume quotient is heightened for Halloween 09. Unlike last year when the election was looming and Sarah Palin was the big story — and the most common Halloween costume I saw — this year I suspect that we’ll see a lot of Kanye West/Taylor Swift pairs. I also suspect we’ll see a lot of Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga and Beyonce (if you need a leotard, I’d suggest going to American Apparel now, since I’m sure they’re going to sell out). There’s nothing wrong with going as Michael, Kanye or Beyonce in theory, but you know some idiot (or idiots, plural) are going to break out the blackface. If anyone reading this is wondering whether blackface may be a good idea, allow me to answer: No. Absolutely not. Under no circumstances is blackface a good idea. Please pass this message on to a fraternity near you.

I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total slut

PSAs aside, I still don’t know what to be for Halloween. I really want someone to dress up as Slutty Balloon Boy (basket as a skirt, mylar tube top), but I’m not sure it’s going to be me. I’m considering Colonel Qaddafi, just because who wouldn’t want those clothes in their closet? (I’m also considering carrying around the text of a 90-minute rambling speech). I have the boots for Zardoz (really), but not the rest of the, uh, package. And I’m hopelessly devoted to Lady Gaga, but without her thighs of steel I’m not sure I can do her justice in all her pant-less glory.

What are you all going as? Any great costume ideas?

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