Guest Post by John McCain: 'My Secret Plan to Fix the Economy'

Sen. McCain Joins us again to announce another in a series of his secret plans to improve upon Our Leader's greatest achievements.

Thank you, General. I'm finding that this electrical typing pamphlet thingy is one of my most effective methods of communication. It even beats the hell out of the Hannity show I do on the Marconi wireless thingy.

Yesterday, I announced my plan to fix the economy by the end of my first term. I didn't release much in the way of details, because it's a secret plan, just like my secret plan to capture Osama bin Laden by eradicating the immoral salmon.

The reason my plan is so secret is because it doesn't use numbers. People don't like that. They say it's insane not to use numbers as the basis of an economic plan. I disagree. I think of it as being a bold gambit, a demonstration of the kind of strong leadership I will exercise as your president. Much like the leadership the current president demonstrated when he invaded Iraq to show a handful of Saudi terrorists and his father that he means business.

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