Pentagon Chaplain Blesses Sending Badass Apocalyptic "Convert or Die" Game to Troops

"Left Behind : Eternal Forces" Game To Go To US Troops In Iraq, Afghanistan

Courtesy of the Pentagon, and the Pentagon Chaplain's Office, troops in Iraq will soon be able to unwind, after a hard day's urban warfare, by playing a video game in which they command a Christian fundamentalist army waging urban warfare in America ! On the streets of New York City ! Plus, in the game screens appear, between different levels of play, with short, helpful essays such as one that explains how the Theory of Evolution is clearly impossible. And, the game will be provided to US troops free of charge ! How cool is that ?

The United States Pentagon Chaplain likes "Left Behind: Eternal Forces" and the religious warfare the game depicts so much that the Chaplain's Office is sponsoring a prayer breakfast in the Pentagon's main executive dining room this Friday morning, where the founder of an apocalyptic fundamentalist "extreme sports" ministry that will distribute the game to US troops in Iraq (thoughtfully included in care packages along with baby wipes) will address top officials of the most powerful military on Earth.

Religious war is way cool. On the smoking battlefields of the religious wars that erupted in Europe in the wake of the Catholic/Protestant rift, victorious armies would entertain themselves by making small incision in the sides of wounded enemy soldiers and pulling their intestines out to wind those around sticks and so extract the entire intestinal tracts, very, very slowly. In Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins' "Left Behind" series, God does that to unbelievers; God pulls their guts out.

That's religious war. Way cool.

image, below: a painting of the 'St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre' depicted the radically badassed nature of religious warfare.

I guess some folks in the Pentagon think apocalyptic religious warfare is pretty badass too, and "Operation Straight Up" (OSU), that will be distributing the religious warfare video game to US troops, boasts that the President of The United States might just be there. OSU says it's waging a "Crusade" too, and that's beyond badass, because the Crusaders were even willing to impale and barbecue pagan children in their singular dedication to furthering Christianity, and so maybe the Pentagon's endorsement of a ministry that invokes the name of the Crusades will send a strong message, to America's foes, that they'd best think twice before messing with the US of A.

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