Chuck Norris Fights For Bible Classes With "Mind Karate"

Since the tragic death of Bruce Lee, it's said that no human can best Chuck Norris in unarmed combat. Now, after decades of grueling physical combat, the former martial arts film icon and TV series actor, who has embarked on an impassioned crusade to bring Bible classes to American public schools, has turned to the practice of a different martial arts discipline. To bring Bible classes to public schools Chuck Norris has wisely turned to:

Mind Karate

Very well. I practice the same Mind Karate* school that Chuck Norris has chosen, the Way Of Punditry.

In hand to hand combat, I will be the first to admit, Chuck Norris probably would kick my ass, and quickly too. Fine. But, physical martial arts aren't very effective at getting Bible Classes into public schools.

Yes, Chuck Norris, unarmed, could probably fend off an angry mob of public school teachers while at the same time shouting verses from Leviticus at panicking high school students as they ran for  fire exits, but it wouldn't be long before a SWAT team showed up and I bet Norris wouldn't win that fight. That's the point, SWAT teams swat : even Chuck Norris.

Thus, Norris has turned to Mind Karate to advance his cause, and in that he is my foe. But, I'm not going fight Chuck in that battle, not yet at least. Martial Arts, all of them, demand a code of honor.

I'm not sure Chuck Norris has grasped the basics of Mind Karate or the subtleties of the Pundit's Way, and I'm, sure I could prevail against a herd of rampaging teletubbies too, but that would just be embarrassing and  grotesque.

So I'm not going to even deign to enter the realm of combat yet ; it would be a grossly unequal fight that would demean both of us and needlessly sully Chuck Norris' good reputation. You can take just about anything from a man, but if there's one thing you shouldn't take it's his pride. Or so they say. Maybe in Texas.

So, in that spirit, I'm going give Chuck Norris a lesson by analyzing the deadly flaws in his Mind Karate technique ;  

I'm going to go over an Op-Ed Norris wrote, for, entitled Bringing the Bible back into public schools, that argues for putting the National Council On Bible Curriculum In Public Schools' Bible curriculum in, well, public schools.

So, here we go. I'll try to make it short and minimize needless pain.

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