Bush defends Hastert

Well, la-dee-da. The Decider has finally spoken -- and he has decided that he's in favor of an investigation. How gracious.

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President Bush said Tuesday he was "dismayed and shocked" at disgraced lawmaker Mark Foley's behavior and supports House Speaker Dennis Hastert's call for a full investigation.

"This investigation should be thorough and any violation of the law should be prosecuted," Bush said while campaigning for Republican lawmakers in California.

Unless, you know, it's anyone other than Mark Foley who violated the law. Like, don't even think about going after Hastert, bitchez! He's a father! And a teacher! And a coach, for crissakes!

Some, including a Washington newspaper, have called for Hastert to resign, but Bush expressed confidence in the speaker's ability to resolve the matter, calling him a "father, teacher, coach."

"I know Denny Hastert. I meet with him a lot. He is a father, teacher, coach who cares about the children of this country," Bush said.

And lord knows no fathers, teachers, or coaches have ever done anything to hurt kids before. Honestly, that's like saying "He would never do wrong by kids -- he’s a priest!"

"I know that he wants all the facts to come out."

Yeah, you know what? I don’t think so.

(Crossposted at Shakespeare's Sister.)