Colbert to the graduates...

Stephen Colbert gave the commencement speech at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill, [Full text HERE] and, according to E&P, he left the poor things with this handy advice:


"Get your own TV show. 'It pays well,' he observed, 'the hours are great and you have fans. Eventually, some nice people will give you an honorary degree for doing jack squat.'"
I hope that nasty Marriage Bigotry Amendment doesn't pass so I can finally marry the man (note to social conservatives: Nobody thinks it will. It's an empty gesture from greed-obsessed politicians who don't care a lick for your beliefs...).

There were some Colbert-y-isms:
"It’s time for illegal immigrants to go — right after they finish (building) those walls." People keep saying immigrants built America, "but here's the thing, it's built now. I think it was finished in the '70s sometime. From this point it’s only a touch-up and repair job."
His suggestions for securing the U.S.-Mexico border went beyond walls to include moats, fiery moats and fiery moats with fire-proof crocodiles.
He added that the border with Canada also has to be secure so Canadians cannot bring their "skunky beer" into the country. He backed English as the official language of the United States — "God wrote (the Bible) in English for a reason: So it could be taught in our public schools."
But there was a rarely-seen earnestness too:
"Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blinder, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.
"Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. Yes is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.
"Afterward, students presented him with a purple Veritasiness Tour t-shirt (which translates, very roughly, as 'truthiness')." (E&P)

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