How we (essentially) stole Iraq's oil

Scott Adams, the father of Dilbert, has a question:


I don't understand the theory that we attacked Iraq for oil. Can one of you geniuses explain that to the rest of us?
I like a good conspiracy theory as much as the next person. And I certainly think governments are capable of doing bad things. But I don't understand the concept of attacking Iraq "because of oil." What does that even mean? [...]
Seriously. Can anyone explain what the plan was?
Sure, Dilbert's dad.

And let me just say that if I had a nickel for every time someone airily dismissed the anti-war crowd's chants of "no blood for oil" by pointing out that we could always buy the oil on the open market, or that Iraq's government still controls it I'd … well, I'd have quite a few nickels.
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