Thanks for the happy ending... you're under arrest.
This is simply the funniest thing I've seen since the confectioner's union in Iran decided to rename the Danish.
In a Republican district of Virginia, local law enforcement officers have been nabbing the criminals in a most unorthodox manner -- by engaging in sexual acts.
According to a Washington Post story (hat tip: TMN), due to the inability of many masseuses to speak English, officers have been forced to actually exchange sex for money in order to "get their man."
I'm all for legalized prostitution, mind you, but anyone who isn't, and doesn't get why this is hilariously wrong, deserves to be the subject of a delicious satire starring some chubby British people and Robert Duvall.
Besides the basic premise, the article is littered with innuendo, including my favorite from butterfingers Republican Supervisor Gary Jackson, who points out that "constituent response -- all critical of the sexual contact -- is mounting."
Rush Limbaugh thinks it's funny too. But that's not much of a surprise given that he's bragged about inspiring a prostitute in the White House Press Corps...
Aside from some much needed yucks, the policy stands as a convenient metaphor for the prevailing law-enforcement and foreign policy theories among our leaders. Even if we have to stoop to the level of those we accuse of being "the bad guys" we're still in the right because we have the (insert standard-bearer of power here).