Dirty State of the Union Preview

Filthy, foxy, and very dirrrrrty Rob the Dirty Liberal offers up his SOTU preview, Let's all ride magical hydrogen ponies in the land of Gumdrop Rainbows. In response to the widely reported news that Bush will focus his address on US energy policy, Rob begins:


Am I the only one who finds this hilarious, in a severely depressing way? President Douchebag, the failed Texas oil businessman and the best friend a Saudi oil king could ever want, is telling us that he has figured out how to fix U.S. energy policy.
Here are a few real solutions to help the U.S. break its dependency on Foreign Oil...
~ Force the big car companies to produce more hybrid vehicles through forced quotas and incentives.
~ Make large scale investments into mass transit systems in the largest cities in America. How about using that $50 billion we are wasting on missile defense?
~ Introduce a large gas tax (50 cents per gallon) to force a reduction in demand. Use that money to invest in mass transit, road maintenance and alternative fuels.
Guess how many of these Bush will mention in his speech? If you guessed zero, then you win the prize.
But there's no prize. Now that's dirty.

Personally, living in small-town BFE (all you need to know is that the Official Town Flower is corn and the Official Town Haircut is mullet), I'd rather see some public transit being built out my way. One of the things I most miss about living in Chicago, where I lived for a decade, aside from little things like culture and Democrats, is being able to walk to the corner store for small purchases, like a gallon of milk. Now, every time I run out of something or if, you know, I ever get a craving for beef jerky or a mini-flashlight keychain, I have to get in the bloody car and drive somewhere. Nothing is within walking distance. Driving is the only way to get anything done, not to mention just get from here to there. And here and there are where all the SUVs and Hummers are.

Yes, I know it's a pipe dream. But as long as our president is hanging out in the land of Gumdrop Rainbows, I might as well imagine myself with a public bus system. It's not as glamorous as the white Pegasus about which I dreamed as a little girl, but I'm old and boring now. And I have to pay for gas.

(Dirty Liberal Words)

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