Vote! for the best Brownie slogan

Last week we posted a contest to come up with the best slogan for Michael Brown's new disaster consulting firm. The results came pouring in, unleashing unprecedented levels of toxic sludge into the political discourse. Thanks.

Among the fine, fine entries (all of which are listed below) it wasn't feasible to vote on so many. So our crack team of PR experts and dog trainers culled 15 of their favorites for your voting pleasure (okay, 16, but that's our final offer). Our apologies if yours didn't make it. Look at it this way, it's a far greater selection than the political process offers you.

Now it's time for YOU to choose the winner.*

It should go without saying that in a contest designed to highlight cronyism and the administration's integrity vacuum we ought to avoid same. That is: please vote once and don't have your friends (cronies) vote for you. It's just a DVD for crying out loud.

Without further adieu, the entries, in no particular order. Read through, enjoy, and leave your choice in the comments below. Feel free to litter the comments section with whatever crosses your mind but if you do, please include one paragraph that consists of your selection in caps: MY BROWNIE SLOGAN WINNER.

The Top 15 16:


  1. Michael Brown, Disaster Consultant: It Takes One to Know One!
  2. "You've tried all the rest, now try the worst"
  3. Michael Brown: Getting it Right the Second Time Arownd!
  4. Been there, didn't do that!
  5. Brown Disaster Consulting.....showing up was the least we could do.
  6. Don't let amateurs mess things up for you. Get a pro.
  7. When you need help really bad, we have really bad help.
  8. From the same people who brought you Iraq!
  9. "We fuck up so you don't have to."
  10. Anyone can plan for a disaster; we make it happen!
  11. "There's no 'ME' in emergency."
  12. "When the going gets tough, we will hire a consulting agency to study the demographics then take a survey to determine if an actual disaster has taken place."
  13. When the day-after-tomorrow is too soon, use Mike Brown.
  14. Brownwater Security: Leaving the Seat Up for Safety<
  15. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of the Brown stuff"
  16. "Browning by numbers"



All the entries...

  1. "We'll do a heck of a job for you!"
  2. "Disasters'R'US"
  3. "You've tried all the rest, now try the worst"
  4. "You won't drown with Brown!"
  5. "What can Brown screw for you?"
  6. Brownose sewage control. (accronym BS co)
  7. Brown Relief: How to squeeze every little bit out of your whole potential. (E-mail consultation also available!)
  8. Michael Brown, Disaster Consultant: It Takes One to Know One!
  9. Brownie Consultation: Making Disasters fashionable since 2005!
  10. Michael Brown: Getting it Right the Second Time Arownd!
  11. Been there, didn't do that!
  12. Michael's Brown's new company should be called Disaster Masters.
  13. Disasterous Consultant Firm At It's Best: Call Day or Night [we'll get back to you]
  14. We Do A Heckuva Job, Just Ask The President.
  15. You Can Trust Us, We Watch The News For The Latest Disaster Updates
  16. Let Brown Eye Look Out For You.
  17. Brown Disaster Consulting.....showing up was the least we could do.
  18. Brown Consulting....as seen on TV.
  19. Brown Disaster Consulting- For the very best in Arabian horses.
  20. Brown Disaster Consulting- The "White Knight" of disaster....except for my asshole, which is brown....B..r..o..w..n..!
  21. Brown Disaster Consulting---when disaster strikes....we have Halliburton's number.
  22. "Shit Happens. We Can Help!"
  23. Don't let amateurs mess things up for you. Get a pro.
  24. "Brownie's Unmitigated ClusterFucks, Inc."
  25. "This is What Not To Do"
  26. "If You Want To Screw Up, We'll Show You How"
  27. "Choose Brown to Fail and Drown"
  28. "What Can Brown Kill For You??"
  29. Michael Brown, Disaster and Personal Shopping Consultant: "Looking Good on a Budget"
  30. "When Crisis Occurs: Dinner in Under 30 Minutes"
  31. "You'll Really Vomit. I Am a Fashion God"
  32. The President Supports Me, Now You Can Too!
  33. When you need help really bad, we have really bad help.
  34. "When you think disaster, your thinking Brown"
  35. "Just screw it"
  36. "Brown, the ultimate disaster machine"
  37. "Got Brown?"
  38. Call Mike Brown when the shit goes down!
  39. When huricanes begin to blow, call Micheal Brown! He don't know!
  40. From the same people who brought you Iraq!
  41. He's trying to find himself! Seen him anywhere?
  42. Call Mike Brown and fish off the roof!
  43. FEMA: Federal Evacuation My Ass!
  44. Quit bitchin'! It' just a little water!
  45. Cheap waterfront real estate! Call Micheal Brown!
  46. I'll consult that disaster for $39.95
  47. Mike Brown: I laugh in the face of disasters!
  48. Crony Consulting/he was ready to quit/leave FEMA in his past/Then Katrina hit/and the swinging door caught his ass
  49. Embellished Consulting, Inc.
  50. Water Intrusion Prevention Emergency Management Enterprises.
  51. Brown Emergency Consulting, Inc.: Turning Natural Disasters into tragedies since 2005.
  52. Brown Disaster Response, LLC.: "We respond to your disaster in 7 days, or you'll receive a free liter of water and 6-roll of toilet paper!"
  53. "We fuck up so you don't have to."
  54. Brown & Associates, for Catastrophic Management.
  55. Associates for Site Sanitation, Water Invasive Pre-Emergency (ASSWIPE)
  56. What me Worry? Dial 1-800-NOT-HERE (Federal Contracts E-Z Deposit)
  57. BAD CAN GET WORSE - CALL BROWN OUT - 1-800-NOT-HERE
  58. Anyone can plan for a disaster; we make it happen!
  59. BROWN'S EDIFICE WRECKS
  60. "There's no 'ME' in emergency."
  61. God, I'm a Fashion.
  62. Brown Nose (Knows) Disaster.
  63. We'll roll up your sleeves for you.
  64. No result, so why not consult?
  65. Sometimes the best example to learn from is the worst example available.
  66. Sometimes the best example is the worst example.
  67. Make the Most of Your Disaster!
  68. Are disasters draining your business? We're here to help. (be sure to note the double entendre)
  69. We Never Met a Disaster We Didn't Like
  70. The Best-Dressed in Disaster Management
  71. "When the going gets tough, we will hire a consulting agency to study the demographics then take a survey to determine if an actual disaster has taken place."
  72. When the day-after-tomorrow is too soon, use Mike Brown.
  73. Disaster Master--there is no disaster we can't make worse.
  74. "We don't know what the fuck we're doing, but we'll give it a shot."
  75. "I'll make you a winner...right after dinner."
  76. "If you're burdened with fault, let Brownie consult".
  77. "Save Face with Fail-Safe".
  78. "Are you an also-ran, then Brownie's your man".
  79. "No experience? No problem".
  80. "Let the God of Fashion help you Cash In".
  81. "A little expense for little experience".
  82. Brownwater Security: Leaving the Seat Up for Safety
  83. Looking your best during disasters.
  84. When only Bush League advice will do!
  85. "Those who can, Do./Those who can't Teach./Those who can't teach, Manage./Those who can't manage, are named "Mike Brown".
  86. "Brown: the color of success"
  87. "Disasters are our business"
  88. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of the Brown stuff"
  89. "Browning by numbers"
  90. "Brownie, Brownie -- He's our Man! If he can't kill you, no one can!"


*Votes will be tallied by Diebold.

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