Dangerous holiday treat

Really, what is better than a turducken (a chicken in a duck in a turkey) and more dangerous than a deep-fried turkey?

Why, the decaducken of course. That's my word, the celeb chef who created it calls it, blandly enough, the ten bird roast. But then he doesn't tell me my cooking sucks so I'll leave his facility with words well enough alone.

The decaducken consists of a "turkey... stuffed with a goose, duck, mallard, guinea fowl, chicken, pheasant, partridge, pigeon and woodcock." Just go to the Safeway and pick out the most delectable woodcock you can find and you're well on your way to "one of the most spectacular and delicious roasts you can lay before your loved ones at Yuletide."

Yeah, maybe in the UK. But here in America a 10,000 calorie $200+ bird doesn't fly with most.

After tipster DJEZI suggested pulled pork as a garnish, The Baron replied: "Pork as a garnish has a certain brilliance to it. The only way I could possibly improve on such a thing would be to procure a 50 pound oil drum (for a mere $55 -- thanks, Saudi Arabia, and Merry Christmas to you!), dump out all the contents on some wetlands, clean it out real good and fill it halfway with cooking oil (which would cost more than the crude oil I dumped out) so I could deep fry the birds. Now that's good eatin', and that's the right way for an American to celebrate the humble birth of baby Jesus. And as an added bonus, it's dangerous, too, satisfying my need as an American to take stupid risks in the pursuit of my Christ-given right to excess. Check it out:


A longtime food favorite in the southern United States, the delicious deep-fried turkey has quickly grown in popularity thanks to celebrity chefs such as Martha Stewart and Emeril Lagasse ... We're worried by the increasing reports of fires related with turkey fryer use," says John Drengenberg, UL consumer affairs manager.
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