Counter intelligence -- now in new kid sizes!

With the Patriot Act up for renewal and the NSA program leak, it's critical to take a look at some of the more poignant successes of the broad intelligence powers enjoyed by security agencies under this administration. They stop at nothing -- not even your child's education -- to keep America safe!

Sacramento, Calif. -- young Munir Mario Rashid thought he was in the clear, when two FBI agents confronted him at Calvine High School with questions about the Palestine Liberation Organization and whether he had pictures of suicide bombers in his cell phone. The 16-year-old, a fourth generation Palestinian, had doodled "PLO" in THREE INCH LETTERING on his binder two year ago. That is some big lettering. (Had they caught a leader?) Given the urgency of the matter, school authorities were naturally unable to follow district protocol and notify the parents. And thank G-d they acted with haste-As it turns out, Munir's cell phone contained images of a mosque … ah, the depravity of the pious!

New Bedford, Mass. -- Meanwhile, an investigation is ongoing over whether a UMass Dartmouth student was visited by homeland security agents after checking out Mao Tse-Tung's "Little Red Book" on interlibrary loan. The agents allegedly spoke with the student at his parents' home in New Bedford, explaining that the book was on a "watch list" and that the student's significant time abroad warranted further investigation.

If true, the student, who was taking a course on Fascism and Totalitarianism, was probably following his Professor Robert Pontbriand's advice: "I tell my students to go to the direct source." Was Pontbriand implying that accuracy, intellectual curiosity, or the attainment of cross-cultural awareness could justify or explain such anti-American behavior? Isn't there a chapter in the "Little Red Book" on making 1950's style WMD's?

Thank you, Patriot Act, thank you NSA spying program, for not leaving one culturally proud or intellectually curious child to devise their subversive plots under the guise of "learning."

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