Faith-based hurricane taxonomy

News & Politics

Yesterday the problem was running out of names for all the hurricanes, for which Josh provided an ingenious market-driven solution.

Now we've got a PR problem to tackle. Namely, that the proliferation of catastrophic hurricanes is causing people to actually think that the conclusion of nearly every scientist on planet Earth -- that Global Warming is real and threatens the safety of humans everywhere -- is real.

Kathy writes:

"So what's the Bush administration to do? Killing the messenger doesn't seem to be working. Perhaps they should demand the National Hurricane Center readjust the Saffir-Simpson Scale. Adjust upward and voila! No more Cat 5 hurricanes."
Which inspired Fact-esque to develop said adjustment -- to a faith-based hurricane measurement system:
"The Saffir-Simpson Scale is not only politically inconvenient, it is also clearly anti-American because it discriminates against faith-based hurricane measuring systems. That's not what America is about."
"Everyone knows that the Bible is filled with stories of storms that clearly outperformed these so-called 'Cat5' storms. We simply aren't telling the whole story when we arbitrarily designate these current storms as the strongest category storm we can experience."
"Who knows more about nature? God, who created it, or scientists, who are human and can only observe it? God wrote the Bible, which is the owner's manual for Earth. By ignoring the meteorological evidence in the Bible, we are ignoring the context of all history. And of course, we need to remember that the theory behind Saffir-Simpson is just that, a theory. Ipso facto ergo elk, we need a scale that more accurately reflects both sides of the story."
Her scale has 3 benchmarks. Here's the first, go [HERE] for the rest:
Category Luke 8:22-25: describes a storm that can be calmed by devine intervention but which is frightening to people with weak faith. This would also help describe storms that led mere mortals to call for inconvenient and costly evacuations just before they changed course or weakened, sending them wobbling harmlessly out to sea.

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