Bootstraps as sustenance (satire)

This just in from The Onion's current issue:


Bush Urges Victims To Gnaw On Bootstraps For Sustenance

WASHINGTON, DC—In an emergency White House address Sunday, President Bush urged all people dying from several days without food and water in New Orleans to "tap into the American entrepreneurial spirit" and gnaw on their own bootstraps for sustenance. (continue reading)

Other key headlines this week: "God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again;" "Government Relief Workers Mosey In To Help;" and "Nation's Politicians Applaud Great Job They're Doing."
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