White House press... rules! (satire)

News & Politics

Actually, that's just a little syntax humor to loosen you up for this post. The title should actually read: "White House press rules."


Dear Press,

The Following rules are effective immediately:

1. Reporters' questions to the president must be in multiple choice, and choice (C) must always be 'because, unlike Terrorists, I like freedom'
4. The word 'torture' is hereby banned; substitute 'insufficient luxury'; 'detainee' should be replaced with 'Islamurderer'. For example, 'protestors complained about the torture of detainees' should be replaced with 'protestors complained about insufficient luxury for Islamurderers'
Yes, I'm aware that 4 doesn't come directly after 1. I just chose my favorites, you can choose yours here. (Big Picnic via The Poorman)

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal
{{ post.roar_specific_data.api_data.analytics }}
@2022 - AlterNet Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. - "Poynter" fonts provided by fontsempire.com.