White House press... rules! (satire)

Actually, that's just a little syntax humor to loosen you up for this post. The title should actually read: "White House press rules."

MANDATORY PRESS RULES, EFFECTIVE AUGUST, 2005

Dear Press,

The Following rules are effective immediately:


1. Reporters' questions to the president must be in multiple choice, and choice (C) must always be 'because, unlike Terrorists, I like freedom'
...
4. The word 'torture' is hereby banned; substitute 'insufficient luxury'; 'detainee' should be replaced with 'Islamurderer'. For example, 'protestors complained about the torture of detainees' should be replaced with 'protestors complained about insufficient luxury for Islamurderers'
Yes, I'm aware that 4 doesn't come directly after 1. I just chose my favorites, you can choose yours here. (Big Picnic via The Poorman)

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