Memo to Bush on G-8
"The Global Warming part is more of a problem. The problem is that everyone else thinks itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a problem. They are going to talk a lot about science," writes Kevin La Croix. "They will try and scare you that the oceans are rising and millions of people will drown. (Note: most of the blue parts of the US map are closest to the ocean.) Point out that if it gets a little warmer there will be less use of wood burning fireplaces and the habitat of the semi-spotted periwinkle will be saved. We have an independent study funded by Exxon to back you up. It is very important that little or no progress is made on this issue. Suggest that the UN be put in charge of it.
A post summit press kit will be distributed with details on the disastrous problems faced by more than 600 million people of Africa, the risk to the survival of the human race from global warming, and the ethical and moral imperatives that have been placed on the worldÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s political leaders.
We will have a separate press announcement for the US media on your support for Little League Baseball and announcing July 28th as National Pistachio Ice Cream Day." (Homo Insapiens)