12 hours at the White House

News & Politics

A superpatriot's defense of the administration. Some call it parody, We think of it as impressionism: "The French are all excited about the twelve hours that occurred between the time Inquisitor General Gonzales told Bush Chief of Staff Andy Card about the investigation into Valarie Plame's betrayal and his warning to the White House staff to secure all of the associated documents. They're worried that the staff may have used that time to destroy important evidence. I'm sure that didn't happen. I even have a timeline to prove it," writes General JC Christian.

8:00 pm - Pastor General Ashcroft calls Gonzales, informing him of the investigation.

Our Leader is preparing for his nightly meeting with the Lord by smearing his body with bacon grease and downing a quart of NyQuil.

Karl Rove is holding his hand over a candle to prove that he's tougher than G. Gordon Liddy.

Scooter Libby is waxing Deputy Leader Cheney's back.

8:01 pm - The Special Political Electronic Surveillance team patches Karl Rove into the audio portion of the call. He immediately begins drafting a plan to safeguard important evidence.

8:10 pm - Gonzales informs White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card.

8:15 pm - Card notifies the White House and Vice Presidential staffs via Blackberry, asking them to preserve the evidence.

8:30 pm - Our Leader places his face into the Mighty Tony Llama Boot of the Lord and asks God when he's going to supply him with flower-throwing, liberated Iraqis. God chuckles and punches him in the arm..." (Jesus' General)

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