Worried that last night's speech was going to be truly edifying, I turned off the TV and cracked open a wine bottle. As the President himself has taught me, never drink and learn.
But not one to shirk my patriotic duty, I did look it up this morning only to find that our great leader has finally hit upon a most cunning plan to win this terrible war: Musical Chairs. "As the Iraqis stand up, we will stand down," he said. That's why they call it war games, baby.
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